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Let’s be honest: life is a dumpster fire sometimes. Whether you’ve had a day of back-to-back meetings that could have been emails, or you’re just tired of being an adult, it’s time to chill the fuck out.
Each bag is hand-packed with almost 2 cups of premium Epsom salts (approx. 350-400g)—the perfect heavy-hitting dose to melt away muscle tension and bad vibes.
Infused with a blend of pure essential oils or phthalate-free premium fragrances, these soaks smell so "amazingly accurate" you’ll actually forget why you were even mad in the first place.
The Lowdown:
Big Pour Energy: The perfect recommended amount per bath.
Mineral Magic: High-grade Epsom salts to detox your body and your attitude.
The Good Stuff: We use essential oils and clean, phthalate-free scents. No junk, just vibes.
The Sassy Eight: Eight different sayings/scents to match your current level of "done."
Stage the Scene: Kick the kids/partner/dog out of the bathroom. Lock the door. If you’re feeling fancy, light a candle; if you’re not, just dim the lights so you don’t have to see the dust bunnies.
The Big Dump: Start the warm water and dump in those salt in. Watch them disappear like your patience at a 4:00 PM Friday meeting.
The Swirl: Give the water a quick stir to release the aroma. Breathe in. That’s the smell of you not being available for comment.
Submerge: Get in. Sink deep. Stay there until your skin prunes or your phone stops vibrating.
The Exit: Emerge as a slightly more functional human being.
Warning: May cause extreme relaxation, a temporary loss of "giving a damn," and the sudden urge to ignore your inbox for three business days.
